Tip 6: Compare yourself to yourself or else here is what you risk
What do you feel is the most important skill you need to master, no matter what your goal is?
Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, an aspiring entrepreneur or a seasoned corporate executive, this skill will help you take your game to the next level.
Write down the skill you feel you absolutely need to master your field. Then write down the name of whomever you feel already has this skill.
Connect with this next story and you’ll awaken this success trait in you in a fraction of the time it takes most people.
If you had been on the phone with me that day, you’d have heard the Dubai Health Care City representative say, “We would like to invite you to speak at the next integrative medicine conference in Dubai.”
“Great!”
“And Dr. Oudi, just so you know, Dr. Andrew Weil will be the keynote speaker.”
“What? I’m a big fan of his! Did you know he’s a Harvard Medical Doctor, has appeared on Oprah and Larry King, and is a best-selling author? Plus, did you know he’s considered the father of integrative medicine?”
As you can imagine, I was more than a little excited, but I also felt something else: edgy and tense. For months after that phone call I was unable to sleep. I was mentally distracted, not only in my personal life but also my professional life.
As the event drew near I couldn’t get my presentation together because I kept imagining the famous Dr. Weil staring at me from the audience.
My good friend paid me a visit. “How’s the speech coming along?” he asked.
“Which one?”
He said, “Are you giving more than one speech?”
“No, but I have five different versions!”
“How are you feeling?” my friend asked.
I said, “I’m terrified.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“I’m afraid of looking like an idiot.”
Would you have been intimidated? I certainly was.
“It looks like you’re subordinating and therefore feeling intimidated,” advised my friend. “Tell me, what is it exactly that you feel Dr. Weil has that you don’t?”
“Well, a bunch of things, but really it comes down to this: he loves his work and really knows his stuff.”
What my friend said next was a powerful reminder that inspired me. I hope it does the same for you.
“What you admire in people is always a reflection of yourself.”
I remembered the saying, “it takes one to know one,” but I always thought of it in a negative sense. I really wanted to believe him but I wasn’t completely convinced.
“What do you risk by subordinating to someone else?” he asked me. “You don’t shine, you lack confidence and how does that feel?”
My friend ran through a series of questions with one purpose: to make me see that I’ve already got what Dr. Weil has, in some form or another.
“Who in your life currently can see that you love your work?” my friend asked me. With his coaching, I was able to list many names.
“Who in your past has seen that you loved your work?” Again, I named many more.
Then he said, “Who sees that you know your stuff?” Again, I listed them. When it was all said and done I couldn’t believe how many people I was able to come up with. I was amazed. Just like that I was no longer subordinating. It worked. The famous Dr. Weil didn’t seem so intimidating anymore.
I was no longer focused on one audience member; I was focused on the message I wanted to deliver to the entire audience. I got up on stage, stood tall and delivered the best version of my speech. I had lunch with Dr. Weil and realized something incredible. No matter what you accomplish in life, you will never be more than a human being. I have what Dr. Weil has in some form, and I am what he is: someone who loves his work and knows his stuff. I went from feeling awe to feeling appreciation, for him and for myself.
Whatever trait you have identified in another that you feel is most important for your field is also within you. You too can awaken it.
Many greats have recognized this kind of reflective consciousness. I recall Dr. Wayne Dyer saying, “the wise see themselves in others and others in themselves.”
I’m now convinced that no one is better than you, no one is beneath you, and nothing is beyond your reach.
Who do you find yourself feeling intimidated by in your field? Who are you resentful of at work?
Who are you subordinating to? What greatness in yourself are you not honoring?
Write down the name of the person you most admire.
Ask yourself one question: who sees in me what I see in them? Keep asking until you have completely awakened that quality within you.
When it comes to the success trait that you think others have, know that you have it too, and if you can honor it in yourself, getting the inspired results you’re after will be that much easier.