Love is the oldest cliché. Love can move mountains, yeah right? Last I checked the Himalayas are still exactly where they are? Love flows like a river? Love is like rose, I don’t think so?
K was my secretary, a skinny gal from North Asia with a big smile and a big dream. She didn’t want to be my secretary forever, I don’t blame her. She wanted to become a doctor. One morning she said guess what? What K. She handed me her acceptance letter into professional school. Even though I would now have to find a replacement, I was so genuinely happy for her. “Congratulations K! So in just a few short months you will be in Dallas living your dream.” I was shocked when K told me that she was not to defer till the following year. Why would someone delay 12 months? Maybe it was financial, personal either way it was none of my business. So I respected our professional relationship by saying; Why are you deferring?
‘Oudi it’s simple I need to love my dad first.”
Wait are you thinking what I’m thinking? How long do you think it takes to love someone?
“K why not just tell him?’ ‘Oudi we’re Asian, it’s not in our culture to outwardly express our feelings. I can’t just say; dad pass the salt and pepper and by the way I love you.’ The way K described her father was strong, intimidating and like a fire breathing dragon.
I’m not a love-ologist or an expert in love, but you don’t have to be to know that not expressing your feelings is not an Asian culture thing. I’m pretty sure this happens in every culture, in ever country and in almost in every home.
Do you think K was going to give her father a year to make the first move?
I gave K my best advice, maybe the same advice you would have given; “Why not write him a note. Trust me he is not going to show up here on your lunch break armed with a baseball bat with your name on it.
Weeks passed then out of the blue K came running into the office. I did it. You did what? I wrote the note this morning, it read ‘dad enjoy your breakfast and by the way I love you.’ She put the note between the salt and pepper shakers.
Her dad called her. “Yes dad, o.k dad. I understand.”
It didn’t sound like it went well. Ever wished you just kept your mouth shut? Maybe my name was going to be on the baseball bat?
Right at lunch time, K’s father stood in the doorway, wearing jeans, a polo shirt, carrying a large bouquet of flowers. He appeared soft, vulnerable and not a man monster she described. K looked up at him, dropped her phone and pen and ran into his arms. They both had tears racing down their cheeks. It was so intense, like family reuniting after decades.
I was a professional, it was office hours. So I did what any professional would have. I admired the view and cried along with them.
But it wasn’t at this point that I understood the power of love it was what happened in the coming 12 months. She went to professional school and married a class mate and before the years end her father became a granddad.
K taught me 3 things:
- When it comes to expressing love make the first move
- That life without love is like food without salt and pepper?
- Don’t wait to make the first move
- Everyone wants to be loved
- The most important things to express are the hardest
- The hardest things to say make life easy.
- Love travels faster than the speed of light.
- Love gets you there faster.
- Is hard to say but makes life easy.
- The shortest distance you and your goals, between two points is love
- And if you don’t want to lose a great employee don’t tell her to leave an I love you note. I miss having an over qualified secretary.
What?
What could you accomplish in a year?
What are you going to place between your salt and pepper shakers?
Love doesn’t move mountains, nor flow like a river, and it’s not a rose love is the greatest cliché, because it’s true.
Why do most fail goals?
From the clients I’ve worked-what u do with ur ideas.
What was she risking? Imagine she delayed
K’s lesson; just make a move.